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Gathering Thoughts by Priceless911 Gathering Thoughts by Priceless911
This is my first Comic, itís not the best but I thought it up at work so I had to create it. I hope you like it.
PS there is a surprise hidden in this comic that I just HAD to put in, any brony will find her without a problem. Enjoy!

The surprise is by: bluedragonhans [link] & blond-justice [link]

Luna images by: mkovic [link] godvsdem0n [link] misterlolrus [link] & blackm3sh [link]

Twilight images by: pikamander2 [link] & stickthefigure [link]

Celestia image by nickman983 [link] & mihaaaa [link]

Background and MLP:FIM by Hasbro
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For someone's first comic, this is actually pretty outstanding.

Aesthetics - Not a lot here, although there is some quality changes within the first few panels (i.e. smooth character model, but a slightly rough background) It's not a major flaw, but it just happened to catch my attention. To fix this, I recommend using Background Vectors from the MLP Vector club since they don't degrade in quality when scaling. I do adore the background changes and close-ups that keep the comic from being dull, job well done

Continuity - A minor error here. Nightmare Moon's insignia on the moon's surface disappears after she is freed from her imprisonment (as seen on Ep 1.).

Character/design - On Panel one It appears to me that Twilight is looking at Luna's... Necklace... and Luna is looking over at Twilight's... horn? Again, That's not really a big deal (I understand what was going on) although, I do suggest making eye contact more direct rather than making them look like they're thinking "oooh what is this" It shows that the characters are actually paying attention and listening... unlike gummy... Also characters and their dialog were really believable

Overall/TL;DR - Amazing. Few minor errors and you made me ROFL. Chuck Norris approves of this.

P.S. sorry if my critique isn't up to standards only me being 15 and this being my second one. Hopefully this will help you become a better comic creator. Good luck and Good job!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
97 out of 101 deviants thought this was fair.

As :iconrivuredevour: said in his critique [pretty good beng its second one] It has some minor errors in the vectors, "forgiveable" cause they're not yours[next time better use the ones on MLP Vector Club, just a suggestion], but the dialogue it's pretty funny. And being your first comic:
:icondumbledoreplz::iconsaysplz:5 points to griffindor!
Oh and it would be great if you make another comic with "what would she do with 2 thousand years"
-Learn to draw and make your own comics without vectors to get what you want. "If you want it to be good, do it yourself". This one is good, but it could be better you know.
P.S.: I didn't pretend to rate the "Technique" part since the art isn't yours, but i'm not saying it isn't good.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
48 out of 57 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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pokemonlegend999 Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
I do not think you want that to happen.
SciGuy365 Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2014
I'm on Luna's side with this one.Celestia's kind of a bucking bitch.
gy8604Black Featured By Owner May 30, 2014
BAD BLOOD never really ends ?
Sleeping-Sniper Featured By Owner May 17, 2014
Don't you dare Tia. I will literally eat all of your slippers. Then your Tiara.
SonicSailorKeyblade Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
For a first MLP comic, I thought it was cute and hilarious! ;3 I enjoyed it as much as the others that have commented. ^*^ awesome work and keep making laughs like these!! >~<
GoldenPonyZ Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2013

somenerd Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2013
Had a similar idea a ways back that the whole "Mare in the Moon" face was a pattern of rocks that Luna had laid out like the Nazca lines. Then they got wiped out by moonquakes or something when she escaped.
cowmaiden Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
2 panel derpy :p
scootfan213 Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Student Artist
i know what she'll say.
TheMarioFan8881 Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2013
I think Celestia and Luna's love for each other is questionable
W0nderbolts Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2013
luna would have a better life being evil instead
Leviathantamer Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013
What are you talking about? Sibling Rivalry is like muscles you rip and tear at pieces a little bit and then when it's healed over you repeat and that makes the muscle stronger.
TheMarioFan8881 Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013
They're ROYALTY, Princesses don't sqabble like that. When they were fillies, it's understandable. But as full grown mares, plus being the rulers of Equestria, it's kinda unacceptable.
But since this is FANMADE, I don't think I have to worry about it
Leviathantamer Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013
Yes it's rather unacceptable... but then again so is having your student and five of her friends wreck one of your parties because the party is boring... or letting a Pegasus borrow your pet Phoenix for whatever purposes... or allowing your sister to embarrass herself on Nightmare Night when she could have helped keep that from happening. I'm just saying these two aren't your average rulers. Besides this all happened behind everypony's back and EVERYONE knows that it's behind the public's back that someone's real personality comes out.
Snowpup22 Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013
Aww, derpy looks so  peaceful when she's asleep!
DaisySong907 Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013
oh no :(
zumithekitty Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
derpy whooves !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yoneyzkalchiwoaf Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2013
bluelink97 Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2013
At least she didn't draw a penis on the moon...NASA *shakes fist*
Swellow32 Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Well there are the hammer and sickles from the impacts of the soviet luna missions
PuPpYs162003 Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
DERPY!!!!! :D
SFaccountant Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2013
Man, give her two thousand years and she'll write a whole damn essay up there.
drepyhooves87 Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2013  Student Writer
hahahahahahhahhahahahahahaha cant stop laghing
kniznik Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2013
Tyranestia is ready to strike again, but will she be ready for consequences?
TheDemonOfSloth Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Tia can go buck herself lol!
DragonKingAlpha Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Ohhhhhhhhhh. Luna you bad. HA ah love it.
BrightPony Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2013
Lakword Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hehehe... I was always thinking she did acctualy do that... I know I would do this XD
W0nderbolts Featured By Owner Apr 17, 2013
Extra-Dan Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
holy, buck... the mount of faves :O
Priceless911 Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
yep EQD is resposible for that lol
WheelJackson Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012   General Artist
:iconprincesslunaplz: *back on the moon, writes "Celestia Cage wants cake!"*
IamCaptainMan Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
As A first, It was excellent!
Priceless911 Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
IamCaptainMan Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
no problem, you deserve it :)
1132002GABY Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
me : dammit you celestia! luna would die for life! are you insane?! don't you even love luna?!
celestia : why yes I do love her
me : Then why would you put her there in the moon for 2000 years?!
celestia : no reason haha!
me : okay i'm leaving now!oh! and 1 more thing............. you're a troller and a molester
celestia : ......................................................................................................................................................................

this is possibly on my thoughts
love your comic
Priceless911 Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thx :)
Bacon-Soda Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
LOL! imma eat sum cookies now!!! :iconnomcookieplz: :iconcookienomplz:
MacDaddygaming Featured By Owner May 19, 2012
simply amazing
Priceless911 Featured By Owner May 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thx :D
cutemute34 Featured By Owner May 16, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
uh, oh...
treos99 Featured By Owner May 10, 2012
lol payback is eternal
iaintyourmailgirl Featured By Owner May 9, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Suuprise hint:
Don't look on the moon
Everyone loves this mare
Really, dont be insulted by her...
Please, love this pony.
Yeah, its easy to find
StarflightThePegasus Featured By Owner May 9, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
At least its funny.
xmasskills Featured By Owner May 8, 2012
hahaha this is funny
Freefox Featured By Owner May 8, 2012
hahahaha, to the moon and back!
SofiaScorch Featured By Owner May 7, 2012
I wish people wouldn't hate on Celestia so. I love this comic but, come one people. Nightmare Moon had become psychotic. It probably killed Celestia to send her away. And it wasn't Luna that was banished, it was Nightmare. Come come bronies. Let's keep the facts straight :]
EternalMangaka Featured By Owner May 8, 2012
We all know this. These are just fandom jokes.
SofiaScorch Featured By Owner May 8, 2012
Some people are serious though :I
freelancerraiko Featured By Owner May 7, 2012
Celestia sucks. LUNA KILL HER NOW!
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Submitted on
May 3, 2012
Image Size
5.9 MB


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