Ch14 Who I Am

                Commander Bolt turned to the mayor and spoke, “Now that we have the credit down, the deal is you get thirty percent so I'll let you do the number and then I'll meet you over near the grocers in about an hour, is that ok with you.?”
The mayor was surprised, “Thirty? This morning you said twenty.”
Commander Bolt smiled, “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. The shop owners wouldn’t even talk to me without your help, so it’s a little gift from the Nightmare Legion. Now if you will excuse me, I'm going to check on the status at the cloud production plant. I'll see you in an hour.”

                As Commander Bolt trotted to the cloud production plant he noticed that a lot of the residents of Cloudsdale were a little more comfortable to leave their homes and wander the street. Of course, he still got the nervous stares form them, but at least they felt better about going outside while he was in town. While he was trotting, his focus wasn’t on anything other than what happened the night before not just confronting his mother, but the feelings he had felt for Captain Stone. He knew he felt this for a long time but he couldn’t think about what it was, let alone what it could mean. These thoughts only confused and frustrated him. Balancing this frustration with the stress of organizing this trade and the preparations for the next battle only added to his troubles.

                Just then, he heard an explosion coming from the surface. Commander Bolt rushed to the edge of the city and looked down. Just outside the camp, was a crater with smoke still barreling out of it. Commander Bolt flew down as fast as he could then landed outside the crater near a group of Commander Orem’s griffon. Then he called out, “What in Luna’s name is going on here!”
One of the griffons stepped forward, “It was my fault commander, there was problem with the fuse length, so it went off too soon.”
Commander Bolt was confused, “Fuse length? What are you talking about, went off too soon? What exactly are you griffon doing here?”

                Just then, Commander Orem landed near the group, “What happened? What’s with all the commotion?”
The griffon soldier turned to Commander Orem, “Sir, a mistake with the fuse length sir, an accident that will be taking care of immediately.”
Commander Orem replied, “See that you do.”
Commander Bolt turned to Orem, “Griffon! What is this all about!?!”
Commander Orem replied, “Just a weaponry test, nothing to worry about commander.”
Commander Bolt looked at the outside of the crater and noticed a lining of both feathers and blood. Then he replied, “It doesn’t look like something I shouldn’t worry about. Explain yourself, and this weapon!”

                Commander Orem pulled an object from his pouch that looked similar to a ball with a candle, then he explained, “This is the griffon kingdoms’ latest weapon, it’s called a grenade.”
“Grenade?”
“Yea it’s a new weapon using the same powder I used on you during our duel. All you have to do is light this little fuse here, throw it at the enemy then, KABOOM! Quick, easy, and to the point.”
Commander Bolt gave him an unamused look, “And what about that griffon that just went… kaboom?”
“Well, accidents happen that’s why we are testing it.”
Commander Bold didn’t want to deal with more frustration so he replied, “What the griffon carry into battle is your business entirely, but I'll warn you now! If I see any of my soldiers carrying that thing into battle, I'll have your head! You got that?”
Commander Orem replied as he flew off, “As you wish. Who am I to arm a hero’s troops anyway? I'll return to my duties with the rest of my soldiers. I’d suggest you do the same.”

                Commander Bolt was not only frustrated but he was very annoyed with what Orem said, “Suggest? SUGGEST?  Griffon you don’t need to suggest anything to me! YOU SHOULD JU...”
“Commander?”
Commander Bolt turned around and replied to the soft voice that came from behind, “WHAT!?!?”
Lieutenant Viscous jumped back in fear, while General Roza gave him a look of great disappointment. Then Commander Bolt realized his unnecessary outburst, so he cleared his throat and spoke again, “Uh I mean, what do you need from me ladies? Sorry about the outburst, rough morning and all. What do you two need me for?”
General Roza and Lieutenant Viscous looked at each other, nodded their heads then looked back at Commander Bolt. Roza spoke first, “Commander, can ve speak vith you for a second… in private?”
Commander Bolt didn’t like where this was going, but being a good leader meant listening to your soldiers so he replied, “Sure… lead the way ladies.”

                The three trotted far from the camp to a small area of flat grass. There Lieutenant Viscous and General Roza, paced back and forth leaving Commander Bolt sitting there, like a young foal waiting to get disciplined for something he did wrong. Then Roza turned to him and spoke, “First of all ve need to know your plans for after the var, and this time no excuses,  ve know you have to have something planed, so spill it!”
Commander Bolt did have a plan for after the war, his plan was to find a way to return Luna, but it could be dangerous for anypony other than himself to know that. So he only replied, “I can’t tell you.”
“You can’t tell us? Or you von’t tell us?”
Commander Bolt looked Roza in the eye with the most serious face he could make then replied, “I can’t tell you.”

                General Roza could see in his eyes that it was for their own protection, so she continued, “Very vell, then you can tell us your opinion on Captain Stone.”
“Stone? Why do you nee…”
Lieutenant Viscous interrupted him “Please sir, just answer the question. In your own words, how would you describe Captain Stone?”
Commander Bolt didn’t know what this was about but he still answered, “Stone is loyal, strong, accurate with her b…”
Viscous sighed and interrupted, “For Celestia’s sake! Describe her as herself, NOT as a soldier!”

                Commander Bolt started over, “Well she is smart, kind, funny, strong willed… dedicated… optimistic…”
As Commander Bolt continues naming off words, he started to realize, not only is every word he named positive, but he was naming off more than he though. As he continued, a sweat smile slowly formed on both Lieutenant Viscous and General Roza’s faces. Commander Bolt finished, “…kindhearted… doesn’t like to burden others despite her troubles… likes to smile in the gentle way when we are felling troubled… and… and… I think that’s it…”
Commander Bolt was trapped in thought over everything he said, as he pondered Viscous and Roza continues to smile. Viscous looked at Roza and whispered, “I think he does feel the same way, we should just let him take it from here.”

                General Roza nodded her head then turned to Commander Bolt, “That’s all we wanted to know Commander, thank you for your time.”
Looking pleased with themselves, Lieutenant Viscous and General Roza started trotting back to the camp until Roza stopped one more time, “Oh and commander? Vhatever you have planned for after the var, keep this in mind. Stone cares about you more than you think, so please don’t do anything that vill endanger yourself. It vould break her heart, remember that, for her sake.”

                Star Bolt heard everything Roza had told him but he didnt react to it, he was focusing on many things right now, first he was wondering how he could mention all those great things about Captain Stone without hesitating between any of them. Then he started to wonder, “Am… am I falling in…”
He shook his head and laughed, “No, no, no, it’s not possible; I'm here for Luna, nothing more. I fought for the last year to save Luna, not to fall in love on the battlefield, ha ha what were you thinking Star?”
After talking to himself for a few minutes, he thought that he has fully convinced himself that he wasn’t falling for Captain Stone, so he began trotting back to the camp completely forgetting what he was doing in Cloudsdale to begin with.

                As Commander Bolt made his way back he kept mumbling to himself, “It’s for Luna, not Gem, I fought to bring Luna back not to fall in love with…”
“COMMANDER BOLT!”
This was the worst possible time for him to hear that voice, Commander Bolt looked up where the voice came from, then he replied “Ge… uh Capt… uh… Stone what is it?… What do you need?...”
Captain Stone landed in front of him, “Sir the mayor is ex… Uh are you ok sir your face is beat red?”
Commander Bolt looked away to hide his face and replied, “Well… I… uh… I… came out here to… uh blow off some steam… and uh... Yea it’s been a long day. And uh still no word about my mother… and all… so I had to calm myself down.”

                Captain Stone was a little confused but she knew it wasn’t her business so she replied, “Well… Okay… Anyway, the mayor has been waiting for you next to the grocers. He says he was supposed to meet you there almost an hour ago.”
“Oh yea that right I lost track of time while I was out here uh… blowing of steam. I'll get back to him as soon as I can thank you Gem.”
Captain Stone was suspicious, “Are you sure you’re ok sir? Do you want me to get one of the zebra medics?”

                Commander Bolt, who’s blushing finally faded, looked back at her and smiled, “No, I'm fine thank you, have you heard any word on your search?”
Captain Stone looked disappointed, “No, nopony knows anypony whose description matches that mare we saw yesterday. It’s like she never existed.”
Commander Bolt sighed, “Oh well, if you want you can stop. I can try again after the resupply is finished. In the mean time you can either see to your archers, or get some rest, you deserve it.”
Captain Stone smiled and replied, “Thank you sir, I will.”

                Captain Stone returned to the camp while Commander Bolt flew back to Cloudsdale. As soon as he had landed on the first platform, he felt an unmistakable feeling that somepony was watching him. It wasn’t like yesterday, this time it was more than one, and it felt like somepony was hunting him rather than just watching him. Commander Bolt started to feel that he should have brought his shield, but he wanted to uphold his part of the agreement and not enter the city armed. Therefore, he continued casually trotting to meet the mayor, while keeping his guard up.

                When he finally met up with the mayor, the mayor asked, “Uh… commander? What exactly kept you? What was that explosion I heard? Is everything ok?”
Commander Bolt smiled and replied, “Its fine Mr. Mayor the explosion was an accident down on the surface so you and your citizens have nothing to fear. So let’s get down to business here.”
The day seemed to pass very slowly for Commander Bolt, not just, because he was annoyed with tallying the supply count, but because the whole day he knew he was still being watched. He decided that whoever it was that was watching him, would show themselves once he was alone.

               As the supply exchange came to a close, Commander Bolt decided to let the mayor take his leave, “Well Mr. Mayor this is the last time I'll see you, tomorrow we will move out toward Canterlot and I don’t intend on stopping by before we move out, so this is goodbye.”
The mayor asked, “Are you going to look for your mother, commander? It’s been over twelve years and you are still trying to find your past. What is it you want to know?”
Commander Bolt started trotting away as he replied, “I want to know, where I'm from, and who I should be, that’s all. Good-bye mayor, I'll see you after the war.”
The mayor smiled, “Farwell… Commander Star Bolt.”

                Instead of going back to the camp Commander Bolt went to the highest platform in the city where construction for a coliseum was taking place. As the moon rose, Commander Bolt looked into the distance and could see the lights of Canterlot. While he stood there, he felt the presence of his observers closing in on him. Without making a scene he spoke, “It’s a little late to take a stroll in this part of town, but then again you ex-soldiers don’t seem to be the evening strolling type.”
Commander Bolt turned around to see two Pegasi standing there with less than friendly expressions on their faces. One pegasus stepped forward, “You must be the great Commander Bolt, you don’t know me but you won’t live long enough to remember my name, GET HIM!!!”

                At that moment, a third pegasus charged him from behind after flying up from under the city. However, Commander Bolt was expecting this, so he waited until the pegasus was close enough then he jumped into the air dodging the charging enemy. Then while over his attacker, he used all four hooves to kick down onto the pegasus’ face knocking I'm out instantly. After landing Commander Bolt smiled, “That was too easy, when are you going to take this ambush seriously?”

                One of the other pegasi drew a sword and charged forward. When the pegasus got close enough, Commander Bolt shifted his body low and to the right, dodging the horizontal swing. While he was there, Commander Bolt opened his wing between the sword pony’s front hooves and jerked his body back to the left tripping the pony and knocking him to the ground. Before the pony could get up, Commander Bolt reared up and dropped his front hooves right on the attackers face, either knocking him out or killing him, which ever it was Commander Bolt didn’t know, and didn’t care. He looked at the remaining Pony and spoke, “I know you! You’re the coward that ran from me during the last battle. Come to finish what you started? I could pick up this sword, but I think I'll fight you without it.”

                The enemy soldier was infuriated and charged with his spear held forward. Commander Bolt waited until he was close enough like the others but instead of dodging and counter attacking, he just dodged the first attack then readied himself for a second. The pony with the spear quickly turned around with his back to the ledge then charged again. Before he got close enough, Commander Orem dropped from the sky without notice, and threw a talon full of powder all over the attacking pony. Then using Commander Bolt’s own armor as a solid surface, Commander Orem scraped his claws creating a spark and setting the enemy pony into a ball of flames.

                The attacker screamed at the top of his lungs swinging his spear around in a horrifying view of pain and torture. Commander Orem watched with no change in expression however Commander Bolt couldn’t help but look away as the enemy flung his spear out of his hooves and continued jerking all parts of his body around in a feeble attempt to put out the fire or at least stop the pain. Finally, the screams became too much for Commander Bolt to handle, so he charged forward and pushed the burning pony off the ledge of the platform flying upward to avoid being burned himself. Then he watched as the screaming ball of fire was silenced upon hitting the ground, with no attempt of flying, gliding or even slowing the fall. Commander Bolt stared at the burning remains of the cowardly pony as his outer perimeter guards rushed over to investigate. All he could fell was pity for the poor soul, as he mumbled, “Shouldn’t have returned to the battle my friend.”

                Commander Bolt landed next to Commander Orem then spoke, “Thx, Orem I didn’t need it, but I appreciate the help.”
Commander Orem smiled, “Anything for a future hero!”
Commander Bolt smiled but then he saw somepony standing at the edge of the steps leading to the platform they were on. He could only watch as the unidentified Mare from the night before stood there staring at him with great disappointment and sadness. Commander Bolt knew exactly what she was thinking, but he knew what he had done, what he was, and the life he chose. He could only see how she was going to accept it, but… she didn’t. The mare only shook her head, turned around, and trotted back into the city with no words, and no positive feelings in her actions.

                Commander Orem looked at the mare as she trotted off and asked, “Who was that commander?”
With a serious face he replied, “A forgotten memory.”
Commander Bolt turned around, trotted to the edge of the platform, and opened his wings, “Let’s return to the camp Orem. The others are expecting us.”
Commander Orem walked next to him and asked, “Are you ok Bolt?”
“Of course I am, why wouldn’t I be? Now cut the chatter, and let’s get back.”
Commander Bolt dove off the ledge and curved around flying up under the city. Orem stood there thinking to himself; he knew well that Commander Bolt was lying out his feathers, he has never called Commander Orem by his name, it was always griffon. Nevertheless, when it came to the maters of emotional stress, he knew he couldn’t help, so Orem just kept his mouth shut and dove off the edge right behind the denial filled pegasus.

                When the two made it back to camp, they saw the Rest of their group waiting around a small fire, as Commander Bolt landed Captain Drib spoke, “Ok so who would Commander Bolt be?”
Captain Stone started to think, “Hm… Who would the commander be?”
Commander Bolt was very confused, “Uh… I missed something important, didn’t I?”
Captain Drib Trotted up close to Commander Bolt, put his arm around his shoulder and spoke quietly, “Stone was telling us about how you cheered her up last night, you dog. So as she talked we started explaining how she does have a family, It’s all of us. I’d be the older brother, Viscous the older sister, Snow the rich and snobby cousin, and what about you?”
Commander Bolts face turned red as he replied quietly, “Look, nothing happened. She was feeling down and I cheered her up, That’s it. Whatever you got going through that twisted mind of yours, I'm guaranteeing you, it didn…”
Captain Drib sarcastically interrupted, “Yea, yea, you’re a saint and we all know it… but what would you be in this family of ours?”

                Commander Bolt thought for a second and then replied, “Well I guess I would be the fath…”
Captain Snow interrupted, “THE UNCLE! You would make an exceptional uncle.”
“What!?!”
Captain Stone agreed, “You would sir! You be perfect for an uncle. I’ve never had one, but I'm certain he would be able to give good advice like you do sir.”
Commander Bolt tried to get a word in, “Wait! How would I be considered an unc…”
Commander Orem interrupted, “I had a crazy uncle when I was just a cub. Poor fool though he could kill a dragon from the inside by letting the dragon eat him first… it didn’t end well though. Turns out dragons chew their food.”
Commander Bolt looked at Orem with a blank stare, “Um… thanks for the moral support griffon… it really helps… so what roll would you be pray tell?”
“Oh, I’d be a crazy cousin who can’t keep himself out of fights.”
Captain Stone laughed, “That’s so true!”

                Chief Rafi spoke next, “Do me now, who would I be?”
Stone started to think, “Hmm… Maybe the dad because of the advice you give, and Roza would be the mom!”
General Roza replied, “If you vould think I'm the mother because I'm older than the two of you, than your crazy. I vould best serve as an older much more beautiful sister.”
Commander Bolt couldn’t help but feel disappointed that he wasn’t the dad because she said he gives good advice too, but she was happy with the game that was being played, so he didn’t care too much.
The group talked and laughed into the night until one by one they all went to get some sleep. Finally Chief Rafi and Commander Bolt where the only two left next to the fire. Chief Rafi asked, “So my friend, I notice you have been acting differently tonight, I cannot tell if it is good or bad. Do you care to tell about it?”
Commander Bolt sighed, “Sorry chief, it’s a little personal. I'm having a hard time understanding it myself.”
Chief Rafi replied, “Hm.. there is an old question that we ask often in Zebrica, it is, nescio quid agitur”
“Hm, sounds very exotic. What does it mean?”
“I don’t know.”

                Commander Bolt gave him a strange look, “Uh… I fail to see how this is… supposed to help me chief.”
Chief Rafi smiled, “Yes, let me ask you, how do you find the answer if you do not understand the question. The same goes with a problem. You cannot solve a problem without first understanding it, it is impossible, and it is a waste of effort. So my friend, don’t focus on a solution, focus on the problem. Once you understand it than you can solve it.”
Commander Bolt replied, “Hmm… Solve the question, then the problem… I have to remember that. Hey, Stone was right you do give good advice… dad.”
Chief Rafi replied as he trotted off to his tent, “Glad to be of help… uncle Bolt.”

                Chief Rafi went off to get some sleep, leaving Commander Bolt there alone next to the fire. He reached into the pocket under his armored and pulled out the picture of himself that he received the night before. He studied every part of the picture, from the Cloudsdale city hall in the background, to the smile on his face for the camera, all the way back to the empty spot on his flank.
“I had heard, you met your mother last night… how was she?”
Without turning around he replied, “She was very kind… and polite. But…”
“But?”
“She couldn’t accept the life I live now.”
“You could change you know, go back to the way you were before.”
“No, that’s impossible now. I still have no memory of my life back then, beside we started this war together, it only right that we finish it together. By the way your majesty, how is that spy of yours? Is he alright? Did I pass your little test?”

                Nightmare Moon trotted up next to Commander Bolt and replied, “He will live, I appreciate that you went easy on him, and didn’t kill him like the others. By-the-way how did you know he was my spy?”
Star Bolt looked up at nightmare moon and replied, “I didn’t at first, it was after the third pony died that I noticed, he was one of your messengers that delivered messages from you, before you started going to the battle fields yourself, he just got lucky. But I have to ask why did you test me like that?”
Nightmare Moon sighed, “After that situation in the last battle, then the meeting with your mother. I wanted to see if your emotions would affect your ability to fight. I also wanted to test your loyalty, I can’t help but feel that you have gone… astray, as of yet.”
Commander Bolt smiled, “No, I’ve just been tired lately. I’ve had some dreams that are rather… disturbing. But last night I had no dream and I’ll have plenty of time to rest after the war ends tomorrow.”

                Nightmare moon smiled, “Very well, tomorrow you will meet up with my personal army, most of them are new and have never been on a battlefield before, but they are all loyal, and very excited to fight under the great Commander Bolt.”
Commander Bolt asked, “About how many will I add to my ranks?”
“Five hundred soldiers, three catapults, and two battering rams.”
Commander Bolt was shocked, “Five hundred, plus catapults and battering rams!?!”
Nightmare Moon continued, “They should be able to get you into the castle, from there I'll leave you to finish off my sister.”
With a heavy heart Commander Bolt replied, “Yes your majesty… I understand.”
Nightmare Moon turned around and started trotting away, “Good, then I'll see you when our forces meet tomorrow afternoon.”

                Commander Bolt spoke up before Nightmare Moon left, “Wait your majesty, my soldiers and I were talking earlier and I was just curious. What will your plan be after the war ends?”
Nightmare Moon didn’t respond, instead she turned into her cloud of mist and faded away into the darkness. Commander Bolt was annoyed that he didn’t get answer, so he turned his attention back on the picture, then he stepped closer to the fire… and threw the photograph in. as the photo burned he mumbled to himself, “Looks like I found who I'm supposed to be after all. My name is… Commander Star Bolt I fight to protect my princess, and my Family.”
He continued to watch the picture burn, his focused was on the blank flank, he watched as it turned from gray, to black then as it crumbled into the flame.